Tricks
by Lumosity13
Summary: My collection of Drarry one-shots. Enjoy!
1. Tricks

**Disclaimer: I solemnly swear that all things pertaining to Harry Potter belong to J. and I've only managed the mischief of fan-fiction-ing.**

**Author's Note: First slash-Drarry attempt. I hope you enjoy!**

**Summary: **Draco argues and Harry tricks. What else is new?

_Tricks_

_Harry and Draco Malfoy-Potter_

-"Absolutely not. _My _name goes last."

"It's alphabetical order, you prat."

-"I said no!"

*sighs* "Why?"

-"On official documents, only the last part of the last name is put down."

"So?"

-"So? So, scarhead, does Draco Potter sound good to you?"

"…"

-"Harry?"

"Mmm"

-"Don't even try to distract me, Potter."

"Whatever do you mean, Draco?"

-"You're giving me that look."

"What look?"

-*visibly swallows* "And now you're doing that darting motion with your tongue on your bottom lip—Stop it, Potter!"

"Mmmhmm, do go on."

-"If you think that you can just stare at me with those vibrant green eyes of yours and lick your lips to glistening with that delightful muscle of yours, than you have another thing coming Potter!"

"…"

-"I didn't mean it like that! No, no keep your hand away from my thigh. I am _not_ compromising on this."

"Say it again."

-"What are you—Potter!"

"Exactly"

-"Let go of my—my— What are you doing now?"

"Vanishing these troublesome clothes."

-*gulps* "I-I se-see. A-and now?"

"Marking my property."

-"Uh-huh, mmmm…wait—WHAT?"

"Simulacrum signo!"

-*shrieks* "POTTER!"

"Yes?"

-"You did not—you didn't just—"

"Write 'Property of Harry Malfoy-Potter around your prick? Why yes, yes I did."

-"I'm going to _end _you, Harry."

"I like the sound of that, Draco Potter."

-"Potter!"

"Which one?"

-"That's it—Simulacrum signo corpus!"

*yelps* "What the—?"

-"Ha! Take that, Potter. Got anything to say about _those_?"

"…"

-"That can't possibly turn you on."

"…"

-"You've got 'Draco Malfoy's b*tch' written all over your body!"

"Mmm…Potter-Malfoy does sound better."

-"No way! It's Malfoy-Potter and that's final."

"Okay, Draco. You win. _Cosigno_"

-"Exactly! We are now, officially, Harry and Draco Malfoy-Pott—Harry, you're a git."

"I am, aren't I?"

-"How do you _do _that? I'm Draco Malfoy! No one tricks me!"

"Actually, you're Draco Potter now according to our marriage license."

-"I'm engraving those marks into your forehead just for that."

"Of course"

-"I'm not kidding."

"Never doubted you."

-"You're sleeping on the couch for a month."

"That thing is rather small; we'll just have to lie on one another."

-"Alone, Potter."

"That's okay; I still have those 'gifts' Fred and George got us. I've been wanting to try them out."

"…"

"Draco?"

"Damn you. How long until you have to go back to work?"

"It's Saturday."

"Good. Bedroom. Now."

"Alright Draco…Potter."

"Git"


	2. Surprises

**Disclaimer: The wondrousness of Harry Potter belongs solely to J.K. Rowling. If I owned it, I would be living in an exact replica of the Hogwarts castle with my love slave, Daniel Radcliffe (or Tom Felton…or both…).**

**Author's Note: I'm very new to slash writing. This is my second piece, actually, so if it's awful, I'm welcome to tips and advice! This is rated M for implied concupiscent actions. This isn't from the same plot as "Tricks" either, rather just another One-shot. Enjoy! **

**Summary: Surprise, surprise! But for who…?**

**Replies to Reviews on "Tricks": (Not sure how else to reply to them yet…)**

To Tilly: No, thank you! I personally like works with descriptions also, but this makes the mind think

more.

To Lady Sovereign: Muchas Gracias! For both reading, favorite-ing, and following "Tricks" and my

account. I'm not so new to writing fan-fiction but _very new_ at writing Drarry or slash.

I'm thrilled that you enjoyed it.

To JAN: Thank you! I plan to do so until I lose the inspiration (so never basically). If you check my profile,

you'll find the name of my other account with more stories on it.

To MirrorFlower and DarkWind: Thank you!

Surprises 

"Ron, that's cheating!" Hermione hisses as her long-time (questionably so) boyfriend, now husband of two years, pulled out his wand and began brandishing it into the twilight-darkened air.

"I'm simply raising my chances of winning. It's very Slytherin of me." Ron says smugly before resuming his mumbling of the Latin-based charm. Hermione huffs and crosses her arms over her thick witch's robe. The December evening was frigid on the grounds of Hogwarts. She still had no idea how her husband managed to convince her to sneak onto the school's property for a secret game of hide-n-seek.

With Harry, of course.

Oh, and Malfoy. As Harry's guest. Because they were friends. And that alone made Hermione's head hurt from the confusion of how in Merlin's baggy y-fronts did that happen?

"Using a charm that allows you to track a Potter is blatant cheating, Ronald!" Hermione attempts again in desperation— and also to distract herself from the despair at having used a favorite saying of her husband's. Ron chuckles and pulls her close, letting his hand drift up to her neck to warm his freezing palm against her warm skin. She grumbles unintelligibly but stays silent.

"Ah-ha! Now we'll find Harry, stun him, drag him home to question him about Malfoy and this…this 'friendship', and leave Malfoy waiting uselessly in the cold."

"What a plan." Hermione deadpans. Ron raises a brow at her.

"Always the tone of surprise. Come on, let's go." His wand rotates in his open palm and he lowers his other from her neck to link his fingers with hers. Hermione smiles helplessly and follows the ginger-idiot.

Ten minutes of walking, shuffling through some bushes, avoiding a random Venomous Tentacula, and skirting the edge of the lake found them at the thick foliage of the Forbidden Forest. Ron puts his fingers to his lips as a shuffling sound is heard, smiling evilly into the, now complete, night.

"H-Harry—*gasps* stop—*pants* not th-the be-best—*moans* best place to do this!" Hermione's mouth drops open, but before she can screech at Ron not to, he pulls back the tree branches to uncover…to uncover…

"HARRY!?"

"RON?" Harry squeaks from his –quite embarrassing to most, but not to a select thousand— position before Malfoy. His cheeks are entirely too pink and his eyes wide and round with surprise, mortification and— Hermione closes her eyes as heat suffuses up her neck and across her face— arousal.

"Granger…Weasley…I see that you found us." Malfoy says as arrogantly as he can with his fingers tangled in the mess of Harry's hair and his length bobbing in the winter air for the entire party's perusal. Not that Hermione was looking. No, no, no, she was attempting to look _anywhere_ but.

"Malfoy…Harry…" ***Thump*** Hermione didn't even look at her husband's unconscious body next to her, too busy trying to force the words past her throat.

"Don't say it, Hermione." Harry growls, his cheeks still pink.

"I was going to ask Malfoy if he could put away a certain excited appendage of his but if you don't want me to—" There was a horrified noise as Malfoy fumbles with his trousers— tucking the necessary items back into the place they belong. Harry coughs and gets back to his feet, boldly taking Malfoy's hand in his when Malfoy was done.

"Now can I say it?" Hermione pleads. Harry rolls his eyes and points his wand at Ron.

"_Ennervate_" Ron stirs on the ground, propping himself up onto his elbow in the next second to look blearily up at the people around him.

"'ermione?" He mumbles. Hermione smirks and taps his head.

"My revenge is complete." She announces smugly. Draco snickers into the back of his hand. Ron shakes his head and his mouth drops open.

"This—you did—all for— JUST BECAUSE I SPILLED COFFEE ON A BOOK, YOU DID THIS TO ME?!"

"It was Hogwarts, A History Ronald! HOGWARTS, A HISTORY!" Harry and Draco slowly back away from the bickering couple; Draco completely smooshing his face into Harry's neck to drown out his mirth.

"So worth the fifty galleons, Draco?" Harry asks his boyfriend of eight months. Draco slides his hand down the side of Harry's body, earning him a shudder, before linking his fingers with the black-haired man.

"I did it for the exhibitionism, Green-Eyes."

"So we don't have to use the money to get you new robes?"

"Of course. Just like you don't have to have sex for a few months."

"… Madame Malkin's or Twilfitt&Tattings?"

"Both. You need to look your best for the Prophet article coming out about us coming out."

"I love you sometimes, Malfoy." Harry sighs. Draco smiles slightly.

"I hate you all the time, Potter." Harry chuckles and they make their way merrily to the front gates; leaving behind a rather hectic shouting match and a harried Headmistress hurrying to the scene.


	3. Extra

**Disclaimer: If I owned Harry Potter, we would have taken over the world by now. Since I'm not queen of the world, I obviously don't own it. **

**Summary: Just like third year, with a twist.**

**Warnings: Implied sexual actions. Not for the faint-Weasley-hearted. Rating T. (if not the right rating, tell me please! New to this rating stuff.)**

Extra

"Is it true, Potter? You fainted? Actually fainted?"

"Shove off, Malfoy!" Ron says crossly, grasping the sleeve of Harry's jumper and dragging him through the crowd, past the other goggling students. It was a repeat of third year, except this time he was six inches taller and could elbow his way through the other seventh years. No one had been expecting the group of dementor's and the D.A. had managed to run them off and destroy a few—after which Harry _had_ fainted. But who wouldn't after last year's battle?

It was only after he had shoved through the immense crowd and sat down roughly at the Gryffindor table that Hermione pointed out something. "Ron, where's Harry?"

"He's right…here…" Ron had turned to find that his best mate was actually _not_ beside him. "He was just here, I swear!" He told his frowning girlfriend.

Harry, actually, was off down the corridor outside the Great Hall, in one of the empty antechambers, being fussed over.

"Really, I'm fine. They didn't get a piece of my soul or anything." The hands continued to run over his shoulders and chest, down to his knees and calves, before going back up to cup his cheeks searchingly. Honestly, if they didn't stop that, there would be a _problem_ that would need taking care of.

"You took on over thirty dementors. That is _not fine_!" The voice broke slightly and the hands began searching anew. Harry sighed and grasped the pale, long-fingered hands, pressing the fingers flat in his and ghosting his lips over the knuckles until the owner of them let go of his breath and began to breathe like a normal human being.

"I had the D.A. with me, and my patronus has never been stronger." His fusser hesitated, biting shell pink lips while dark-blonde eyelashes fluttered over ice-grey eyes.

"Why was it stronger?" Harry leans forward, until their foreheads are touching and he flits his tongue out to trace those deviously distracting lips, causing the other to catch his breath and squirm slightly under the assault.

"I had a _very_ happy memory."

"Oh?" His breath was now labored as Harry continued to trace the lines of his mouth with his tongue, laving the muscle down to his chin and flicking it mercilessly against the Adam's apple.

"Several actually."

"Care to share?" And now the tongue was mercilessly turned to the other's collarbones, where Harry put his lips into play, sucking sharply until his fusser writhed, and then soothing the angry, red mark with his tongue.

"Mmm…pale skin that blushed this pretty rose colour, silk sheets wreathed around the writhing body, blonde hair that was perfect despite my best efforts to make it look freshly-shagged, those pink lips kissed red…" Harry pauses and lifts his head, until his emerald eyes lock with his lover's ice-grey ones. "Your smile and your laugh, the way you swagger into a room, the tilt of your chin—oh god, even the way you hold your shoulders, and your smirk. I could kill a hundred dementors just by picturing your little smirk." He says huskily while his lover gulped down his roaring desire.

"You…seem fine…to me." He manages to pant as he felt Harry's hands slide lower down his chest, still linked to his hands.

"I'm sure the feast can wait."

"_Harry_"

"Don't I get a congratulatory kiss? I did drive away the evil monsters." He pouts— something he had learned from the boy he had come to love in the last four months. His lover sighed and shrugged his lithe shoulders.

"How very brave of you. Come here." Harry tilts his head in eagerly, pausing once again before those delicious lips that he loved so much.

"I did it for you, Draco." Draco smiles— he did _not_ beam like a sappy idiot, and congratulated his Gryffindor with proper enthusiasm. And if Weasley accidentally walked in on them in the middle of congratulatory sex, thus causing the redhead to faint… well that was just payback.


	4. Neverending

**Disclaimer**: If I owned Harry Potter, I wouldn't have to do these disclaimers at the beginning of every story. J.K.R. you lucky woman.

**Warning**: The Slytherin Prince with the Gryffindor Golden Boy. And some cussing. Just a little.

**Summary**: Some things must end. Some things just aren't possible _to_ end.

**Neverending**

"Shove off, Zabini."

"Don't be so prissy, Draco. You know it's true." The dark-skinned boy smiled smugly at his friend, who scowled darkly.

"Just because I want to know if Potter is safe or not does not mean I care for the git! We're in a war, you berk!"

"You like him." Blaise had never seen a shade of red like that before.

"I like green eyes. He so happens to have ones that colour. Big deal." Blaise's grin widened like a predator viewing its prey.

"Interesting, since you've mostly dated people with eye colours everything _but_ green."

"I said _shove off_!"

"You sound like a kitten whose tail got stepped upon. Just admit it; you have a thing for Potter."

"I. Do. Not." Blaise speculates on the possibility of a cracked tooth after the clenching that jaw was going through.

"What if he's been captured? He's getting tortured probably right now. If Greyback is there, you can guarantee he'll be delivered to the Dark Lord with a few pieces missing. If Avery is there, he might even be desecrated. He could be bleeding out to death, in pain and alone out there somewhere, wondering desperately if there is anyone left in the world who cares for him— wondering if there's anyone left who would miss him. He could be—"

"_Stop_" Blaise trails off once he sees the stricken expression on his best friend's face. The grey-blue eyes, usually shimmering with anger or fear now dull to the flat colour of flint, practically dead, while his face pinches even tighter, the skin grey around the edges. His hands clench in front of him, while he stands up straight from the wall they lean upon outside of the manor. A brief reprieve from that wretched headquarters.

"Say it, Draco." Blaise says softly, gently. Draco looks pained, but his lips slowly purse before opening.

"I…I lo—… Dammit, I love him." The dull flint flares to such an iridescent light that Blaise has to blink slowly to let his eyes adjust.

"Does he know?" Draco shook his head slowly, his shoulders hunching in misery. "I think he does." Blaise adds. Draco's blonde-head snaps up so quickly that Blaise winces in sympathy for his neck.

"What?" He breathes.

"I think he realizes that you love him. He tried to help you last year, with the cabinet and everything. You never noticed, but I did."

"What did he do? Blaise, What Did He Do?" It was like a puppy wanting a ball or a child with a sweet dangled over his head. Blaise felt another flash of sympathy before continuing.

"I overheard him talking to the Weasel and Granger about you, about making you a spy for the Order or hiding you and your family away from the Dark Lord, he even went so far as to say faking your death and shipping you to the other side of the world to a new life. I saw him after your fight in the bathroom too…" Blaise hesitates but plows on at the look on his friend's face. "I never saw him cry until that day, mate. He looked like he had lost everyone he had ever loved in one day and every day he hovered outside the hospital wing, as if on guard duty."

"No. No, that's not true." Draco's eyes looked too hopeful, too despairing.

"It is. He loves you, mate." Blaise insists, his eyes flitting about their surroundings. Draco shakes his head furiously.

"No, no he _can't_ love me. I'm a death eater! I'm his enemy. He can't…" Draco's voice drops to a whisper, broken with unrequited love. "He can never love me."

"Nothing can stop me." Draco's head whips around, making Blaise wince again, to find Harry Potter's head floating on the front lawn of Malfoy Manor. Then the rest of his body appeared as he tore of a silvery cloak and began striding forward.

"Get the f*ck out of here!" Draco immediately snarls, his eyes blazing as he points his wand, the tip pressing into the other wizard's chest—making him pause. Harry's eyes flash back and Blaise watches with interest.

"Thanks Blaise, for the help." Harry says without looking at the other Slytherin. Blaise shrugs and throws Draco a brilliant smile.

"You…you…what…how…you?" Draco splutters. Blaise nods and gives a sharp whistle without warning. Draco can hear the rustles of a vast amount of people approaching. "What's going on?" He asks softly, his eyes captured by those green ones he loved too much to bear. Harry watched him just as intensely and lifted his hand, brushing Draco's bottom lip with his calloused thumb.

"You-Know-Who is here. The defenses are down and there are barely any death eaters here. I have to strike before we lose this chance. I have to fight him before any more people die. I have to fight him before you can be hurt any further." He adds, leaning forward, pausing just before Draco's lips. "I have loved you every day since fourth year, Draco Lucius Malfoy. Don't you dare die today, or everything will be lost." With that, Harry kisses him too intensely, too passionately, too lovingly, too brazenly, that Draco's mind goes a brilliant white from it.

And then he's gone.


	5. Neverending pt II

**Disclaimer**: If I owned Harry Potter, I wouldn't have to do these disclaimers at the beginning of every story. J.K.R. you lucky woman.

**Warning**: The Slytherin Prince with the Gryffindor Golden Boy. And some cussing. Just a little.

**Summary**: Some things must end. Some things just aren't possible _to_ end.

**Part 2 **

It went too fast, the battle. It went too fast for Draco or Blaise to know who they fought and brought down, who they fought beside, and just exactly how they went from the drawing room, through the greenhouses, to the outside courtyard in the back. Harry had brought his motley crew of friends and Dumbledore's Army, along with the small amount of Order members. There were half of the death eaters left behind in the house when the battle began.

There was half of that number left now. A few had fallen from their side as well, including his father.

He would grieve later. Right now, he was running forward, his throat burning as if an Acid Hex had been cast upon it, the screams tearing in his chest but not rising to actual sound. Blaise was pulling on his arm, keeping him back as Harry fell slowly to the ground. Crumpling to the dirt. Collapsing to the Earth.

Dead.

"_Harry_!" His scream rose above those of his friends'. It rose above the Dark Lord's victory shout. It went above the crack of thunder as the storm clouds formed quickly under the pull of the battle's magic.

"Draco, no, stop!"

"Harry! Harry! Harry!" Draco wrenches free of his captor, sprinting forward those last few meters to stumble down beside him. Beside Harry. His hands clenched into the fabric of his robes, pushing hard on his chest, _willing_ the great spectacled git to f*cking breathe!

"Your Savior was weak. He was never anything more than a silly little boy. And now he's dead." Voldemort crowed. Draco opened his mouth in a silent scream, his eyes narrowing with a red haze as there was no beating thumps beneath his fists, as no air flew in and out of his rival's mouth and nose. As there was no light in his open, green eyes.

"Do you wish to die with your great love, Draco?" The Dark Lord's voice was a croon, thick with malicious glee. Draco staggered to his feet, his face dry and cracked open, his eyes almost black.

"No"

"No?"

"No, you sick f*ck. Because my love isn't dead. It never will die. But you…" Draco's voice shook with the force of his rage. "You. Will." He raised his wand, uncaring of the shouts of warnings from the others, uncaring of Voldemort's own wand raising—green light already glimmering at its tip, uncaring of the rain beginning to pour.

"Avada Kedav—"

"EXPELLIARMUS!" The voice was a roar. It was a call to arms. It was an angel singing. It was the devil screaming. It was a war chant. It was a church toll. It was all that Draco had wanted to hear before he died.

But he lived.

"No! It's not possible! Avada Kedavra! Avada Kedavra!" Draco gasps and reaches out to pull Harry out of the killing curses' path, but the light hit him anyway, fading away with a disappointed scream. Harry's face was twisted with a haunting sadness as he raised his wand.

"_Remissio_" It was like a whispered sweet-nothing to a lover, but as the cloud of black hit Voldemort, it became a violent whirlwind of red, of white, of blue, of green, of yellow, of sounds. It became his death.

And then it was over.

"Harry. Harry, oh merlin, Harry. _Harry_." Draco grasped his stubborn, stupidly heroic, lover and pressed their foreheads together, breathing harshly into his mouth as if to make sure he was truly breathing. A chuckle escaped past the dark-haired boy's lips as he held up his Slytherin at the waist and kissed him again.

"I told you to stay alive."

"I listened. You didn't."

"Technically, I did."

"Shut it, Potter."

"Yes, dear."

"I love you."

"Neverending." Draco pulls back from their kiss to stare at him in confusion. Harry held out his left palm, revealing the word magically tattooed around his fourth finger. "It is neverending, Draco. It will never end. I will love you until the last star fades out of the sky. I will love you neverending." Draco kissed him before he could continue.

Neverending, indeed.


	6. Accio Harry Potter

**Disclaimer**: If I owned Harry Potter, I wouldn't have to do these disclaimers at the beginning of every story. J.K.R. you lucky woman.

**Warning**: Body exposure, possessiveness of a Slytherin-nature, and minor cussing.

**Summary**: Who knew it would work?

**Accio Harry Potter**

"That will never work, Blaise." Draco snaps, glaring at his friend while the other Slytherins in the game chuckle with merriment.

"Do you back down, then? The Great Dare King?" Blaise taunts. Draco tightens his hand on his wand and brandishes it into the air.

"Accioed Harry Potter!" There was nothing for a moment and the blonde smirked as he leaned back in his chair in front of the fire in the Slytherin common room.

"Dammit" Blaise swears as he slouches in disappointment. Suddenly, the portrait bangs open and a very shocked Harry Potter zooms in and lands on Draco's lap.

A very naked Harry Potter.

In fact, a very wet, soapy, naked Harry Potter.

"What the bloody— oomf!" Draco covers Potter with his body, glaring at the gawking Slytherins and sneering viciously at them.

"Mine!" He growls. Potter squirms in fright beneath him, but he stays in his position until the others run very wisely to their dorms. Once they are gone, Draco smiles down at the dark-haired boy. "Hi" He says cutely with wide, 'I'm innocent, blame the dog' cat eyes.

"DRACO LUCIUS MALFOY" His boyfriend yells furiously, slipping off the armchair due to his wetness. Draco giggled, actually giggled, and snogged him right then and there.

"I didn't think it would work. Remind me to thank Blaise."

"_Remind me _to curse his bits off!" Harry yowls as he grabs a random cloak from the abandoned couches and pins it around his shivering body, glaring at his lover.

"You wanted an entertaining way of coming out." Draco reminds him.

"I'll remember that when we visit your parents for the holidays." The look on Draco's face was almost worth the shock of being accioed-ed from the shower.

Almost.


	7. Not as planned

**Title**: Not as planned

**Disclaimer**: If I was J.K. Rowling, Draco and Harry would be together. They aren't, however. Therefore, I'm not her. And these beautiful, gorgeous, hilarious characters and universe are not mine to claim either. Excuse me while I go cry…

**Rating**: T

**Pairings**: DM/HP, RW/HG, and various other assumed pairings.

**Warnings**: Minor cussing and suggestive acts.

**Summary**: For Harry, things just won't go as planned.

**Author's Notes**: I rushed out of my shower to get this down before it disappeared so…enjoy this!

"Mr. Potter! Mr. Potter, sir!"

"What do you anticipate Ms. Weasley's response will be?"

"How many karats, Mr. Potter?"

"Mr. Potter! Why the sudden move?"

Harry froze three steps into the main ballroom of the ministry. His wand had slid into his palm the second the first camera flash had gone off, thus blinding him. When the spots at last cleared, he was faced with a growing crowd of reporters and guests of the ball.

"Mr. Potter, could you release a statement?" Rita Skeeter's voice snaps him out of his daze and his mouth closes from its prolonged gaping. He straightens up and holds his head high, while still keeping his wand handy. How he would love to pay that woman back for her article about his and Ginny's breakup last year.

"What are you all blathering on about?" He snaps, using his Auror voice. Not that he'd been practicing in front of a mirror or anything. In front of him, behind the line of rabid reporters, he spots a huddle of bright ginger hair and sends them a beseeching look.

"You were spotted, Mr. Potter." Rita answers him with a sultry giggle, her hand already holding its acid green quill. His lips curled slightly in distaste, a nasty habit he had picked up from a _certain_ someone, and he shrugged his shoulders to ease the building tension.

"_Spotted where_? And how did you all get in here? This is a private function!" His frustrations at the pitiful security the ministry lacked even after the war had been over for four years rose even further. If they didn't come straight out with what they were harassing him about, someone would be getting hexed!

"Hilfer's Jewelry store, Mr. Potter. Now, don't be shy! Let's see the ring!" Cameras began flashing before the words had left the random reporter's mouth. Harry blinks in the painful light and snaps his fingers with a snarl.

All the bulbs in the cameras shatter as one, drawing shrieks of surprise from their owners and gasps from the crowd.

"You all have ten seconds to get the hell out of my face or you'll find yourselves in St. Mungo's Fourth Floor for an extended stay!" Harry thunders, raising his wand to waist level to indicate his seriousness. Most of the reporters balked and backed quickly away from the crowd. Yet Rita, the damned insect, saunters closer. Harry's lip curled again. Only one person could successfully pull off such a gait.

"Now, now Mr. Potter. All we ask is to be present when you pop the question to Ms. Weasley. That's not too much." Harry's eyes widened in shock. _What?_

"What? Mate, what the hell?" His former partner's voice bellows from the crowd. Inwardly groaning, Harry turns his head to where Ron, Hermione, Ginny (_Oh great_), and the twins were standing. A little to the side and behind them also stood his current partner, whose face was far from amused.

"Harry, is this true?" Ginny simpers. Harry narrows his eyes at the mischievous glint in the redhead's eyes. _Oh, she wouldn't_.

"Ginny, just how did these parasites get in here?" They ignore Rita's indignant squawk as Harry walks closer, his emerald eyes glittering dangerously. The nosy bint taps her chin with a thoughtful expression on her nosy little face.

"That is an interesting question, isn't Harry? But first, I'm sure we'd all like to know the answer to their questions." She grins widely as he growls incomprehensively at her.

"I said I would tell you _afterwards_!"

"I never said patience was my virtue." She sniffs.

"Ron, do something!" Harry gripes at his best mate. The lanky auror seems torn between confusion and amusement.

"Why me?"

"She's _your_ sister!"

"She's _your_ ex-girlfriend! Who's the ring for, mate?" Hermione smothers an ecstatic giggle at the rising blush on her best friend's face. At least he had shaved tonight! He didn't look half as good with his face all stubbly.

"Yes, Potter. _Who is_ that ring for?" His partner's drawl rang out. Harry winces at his last name. He was in some deep hippogriff sh*t. He didn't do anything wrong!

Okay, _maybe_ he _had_ forgotten to disillusion himself before walking out of that thrice-damned shop but really!

"Draco." He says placatingly as the imperious blond approached, looking bloody gorgeous in resplendent onyx robes with ruby silk as the hems. He stops beside Harry, his stardust eyes narrowed dangerously.

"I'm listening." Harry shivers at the tone of voice.

"Why is it any of your business, Malfoy?" Ron butts in. Harry throws him a glare over his shoulder. Now was _not_ the time to revert back to their school days! Before he turns back around, he catches Ginny and Hermione's wide eyes as well as the sh*t eating grins of the twins.

That's it; he was no longer investing in those two. Or telling Hermione anything. _Ever again_.

His free hand slips into his pocket, fingering the fuzzy surface of the black velvet box. He had hoped for a more private setting, like the small spot in the park four blocks over after the party was over. Where they had shared their first kiss. And second. And third. And possibly seventeenth.

"We're waiting." Draco's voice whips out and Harry blinks rapidly in the aftershock before shuffling his feet and ducking his head. Within seconds he was reduced to a stammering fourteen year old instead of the twenty-two year old, next Head Auror he was.

"This was supposed to go a bit differently." He grumbles, still not looking up. His partner sighs and taps his chin, a signal that he was to look Draco in the eyes or else receive a stinging hex. Sometimes he hated Draco and his confidence-building exercises.

"What was supposed to go differently?" Draco asks in a slightly nervous voice, his silver-grey eyes a bit wide. As soon as Harry locks his eyes with those beauties, the rest of the world falls away. It was just the two of them, like it was supposed to be. His heart within his chest was raging to get out, his breathing slightly ragged.

"This?" His voice was weak, but he was still proud of the fact that he managed to pull the little box from his robes without fumbling and tossing it to Draco without smacking him in the face. His lover's eyebrows almost disappeared into his tied back hair as he looks down at the box in his hand.

"Uh…Harry?"

"Kneazle got your tongue, Draco?" Harry teases at the shaky tenor of his lover. Draco scowls slightly before pulling the lid open and gazing at the simple white gold band lying innocently on the cushion. Etched along the surface were a dragon and a lion, wrapped around each other.

"That depends." Again, shaky voice. Harry felt more in his element, his stance relaxed as he stared at the blond.

"On what?" Draco finally looks up at him, a small smile pulling at his pretty pink lips.

"You asking the question first." And just like that, he was a floundering school boy.

"Oh…right…erm…Dra-Draco…w-would…er…crap." His voice gave out as his cheeks threatened to explode.

"Scared, Potter?" His eyes widen at the arrogant blond's smug visage.

"You wish, Malfoy." He replies automatically. A deep chuckle reverberates in his lover's chest.

"Go on then."

"Marry me you arrogant git?" Draco smirks and tugs the ring from its spot, sliding it smoothly onto his left ring finger.

"If only to torture you for the rest of your life." Harry grins, his heart still threatening to leave his chest cavity, and leans forward and captures that adorable mouth.

_Thump_

Harry and Draco turn, the world falling back into place around them.

"Ron!"

"The weasel fainted?" Draco's voice was a tad on the excited side, but Harry let it slide. It was pretty comical. Ginny, however, looked shell-shocked.

"Malfoy! Your secret lover was Malfoy?!" She shrieks. Harry gulps and nods. "I bet fifty galleons on Seamus!" Draco slides his arms around Harry's waist, a sultry grin on his face.

"I had him place a bet for me too. Thanks, Weaslette. Now I can take Harry to Paris for Easter."

"Draco!"

"Harry Potter!"

"Fred, George, let's be reasonable now."

"The ferret, Harry? Why the ferret? Oh merlin, he'll be around for the holidays now."

"I'd rather spend those ravishing him, thanks for the invitation though Weasley."

"Oh god." _Thump_

"Ron!"

"It's alright Hermione. He'll wake up eventually."

"Fred! Put down the firecracker! George, don't you dare activate the lightning spheres!"

"Malfoy?! All this time and it's been Malfoy?!"

"Oh look, he's coming around. Hey Weasel, did I mention that those times you complained about your desk being messy, it was actually because Harry and I were—" _Thump_

"Malfoy!"

"Hermione, don't!"

"Harry, keep your deranged friends back!"

"Fifty galleons!"

"Everyone smile!" The camera flashed, startling everyone from the chaos. Harry, holding his arms out as a snickering Draco peeks over his shoulder, glares at Rita as she puts away a roll of parchment. Hermione is prodding desperately at a catatonic Ron while Ginny rages in her own little bubble.

Fred elbows George lightly in the side, leaning down so that he could speak quietly enough. "Think he would try a shape-shifting nougat when mum has him over for dinner tomorrow?"

"Absolutely. Fred."

"Yes, George?"

"Harry heard that." Both twins look nervously at the menacingly approaching Auror.

"Time to go." Both twins leg it out of the ballroom as Harry gives chase, leaving Draco to quietly sneak out the side door so he can apparate back to Harry's flat. He reckoned the messy-haired git deserved a pleasant surprise when he got back.


	8. Drarry Fanfiction Jokes

**Title**: Drarry Fanfiction Jokes

**Disclaimer**: J.K. Rowling, the lucky witch, owns Harry Potter and all its affiliates. If I owned it, I would have taken over the world by now.

**Rating**: I'm going to rate it T, just in case.

**Pairings**: The title gives this away…

**Warnings**: Foul language and semi-cruel pranks upon Slytherins.

**Summary**: Don't touch the chicken, people. Just don't.

**Author's Notes**: I had fun with this!

_Draco giggled_.

"Excuse me? I do _not_ giggle. Giggle is below the refinement of the Malfoy family. Harry, tell those inbred muggles that I do not giggle."

"Draco…er… doesn't giggle."

"Go to the next story, Harry."

"Yes, Draco."

_The smaller Gryffindor boy cowers as the intimidating enemy approaches._

"What? *incomprehensible spluttering* I do _not_ cower like…like…like some hapless kitten! Draco!"

"You insufferable cretins! This is Harry f*cking Potter you're writing about! He doesn't cower! And, let _me_ assure you, he's not _small_ in _any_ capacity." *low-lidded gaze* "Next story!"

_Draco gapes in astonishment at his gloriously sexy housemate. "You saw what?!" He shrieks._

"_Shriek_? Now you plebeians think _I_, Draco Lucius Malfoy, shriek?"

"Only when I do that one thing to wake you up in the morning, Draco."

"…Just keep reading."

_The gloriously sexy housemate smirks, far outstripping the common Malfoy variation, and dips his beautifully tousled head gracefully as his second-best mate flounders about the couch in a fit of—_

"Who dares to call themselves a writer? Harry, use that strangely immobile mouse and uncover this beast!"

"It's only a username, Draco. I don't actually…hold on. They actually put their email on here."

"Do your clickety-clacking then and tell them they'll be hearing from my father's lawyer about this!"

"Alright, it's done. Let's keep reading. We might figure out who this is."

_"I did. I saw Potter with another guy today. It must be his fifth one in three days." His bleached blonde friend wails in despair._

_"He promised me I was the only one! That we were each other's first. Wait until my father hears of this!" The gloriously sexy housemate lightly pats the despondently sobbing boy._

"They would have the audacity to call you a whore and a cheater in three sentences!"

"*stunned silence*"

"And I do not f*cking wail! I do not make any noises unbefitting of a Malfoy!"

"*continued stunned silence*"

_"There, there Draco. I'm sure it'll be okay. I'm still here, aren't I?" A wet sniffling sound emerges from the ragged locks of pale hair. _

_"You're right. Thanks for honouring me with your presence, Blaise."_

"That little piece of—"

"Holy Salazar, Draco read the rest of the page."

_"Draco, we talked of this."_

_"Sorry! Lord Zabini." _

The door opens to the lounge the Auror trainees relaxed in between training sessions.

"Hey, guys! What's up— AHHH!"

"Blaise f*cking Zabini! You're f*cking dead! So dead! Even Voldemort will be astonished at how dead you are. I will end you! Your miserable ass is mine!"

"Harry! Help!"

"No way, Zabini. Draco, didn't you have some Dark curses that Kingsley told you to test out?"

"Brilliant Harry. I knew I was shagging you for a reason. Zabini, when I'm through with you, you'll be lucky enough to not be constantly drooling. Oh, and the only thing you'll be saying from now on is Lord Malfoy. F*cking arsehole…wait till my father…I shall obliterate you." The blonde trails off into dark, malevolent whispers as he trains his wand on the bound and battered Italian wizard.

"What the hell are the two of you talking about?" Blaise screeches as he's hauled off by an enraged couple. From the shadows, another form appears as the disillusion charm wears away.

"Ha! Next time, keep your slimy mitts off _my_ chicken, Zabini." The tall, lanky redhead throws his head back, cackling, before sauntering away to find 'Mione. He would need her help to keep the smarmy bastard from being _permanently_ maimed.


	9. Friendship and Love

**Title**: Love and Friendship

**Disclaimer**: J.K. Rowling, the lucky witch, owns Harry Potter and all its affiliates. If I owned it, I would have taken over the world by now.

**Rating**: T

**Pairings**: DM/HP

**Warnings**: Swearing, suicide themes, and slight traumatization of Potion professors.

**Summary**: I really can't think of a summary that won't sound pitiful, so read on!

**Author's Notes**: Not my best work, but I really just wanted to give this a shot. I hope you guys enjoy it!

"Damn you!"

"What the hell?"

"What is the meaning of this?" Severus thunders as he stalks down the hallway to his classroom. The crowd of sixth years part instantly for him, revealing yet another Potter-Malfoy tussle. Though, admittedly, they had been few and far between this year. "Potter, get off of Mister Malfoy this instant!"

The idiotic boy scrambles to his feet, keeping his head down and shoulders tense. Draco is helped to his feet by Blaise and Goyle, the rest of his Slytherins glaring heatedly at the 'Chosen One'.

"Ten points from Gryffindor for fighting, and detention tomorrow at seven, Mister Potter. I do not tolerate violence." Severus is surprised when his punishment receives no hate-filled glare from the boy; instead he receives a stiff nod. Severus ignores the astonished whispers and opens his classroom, letting his DADA students in.

Hermione hesitates at the threshold, worried for her friend. He's yet to look up, or even explain why he randomly launched himself at his rival without any sort of riling. Ron was attempting to get him to come in.

"Mate, whatever it is, we can talk about it later. Snape will only give you more hell if we're late."

"I-I'm not feeling well. Bye." He tears off towards the staircase in a flurry of black robes.

"Harry!" Hermione calls, her heart sinking. An alarm goes off in her head. "Ron! Go after him!" For once, the boy doesn't question her and pelts after their best friend with Hermione quickly on his heels.

"Miss Granger! Where do you think you are going?" Snape's voice rings out after her but she only yells a harried "Sorry, sir!" as she turns the corner.

"He's heading to the Astronomy Tower." Ron puffs as she catches up to him on the fifth floor. Clutching at a stitch in her side, she nods. Harry was already out of their sights.

"I have a bad feeling, Ron." The lanky redhead nods in agreement and they quickly jump up the staircase to the Astronomy Tower. "HARRY!" She screams when she sees her dark-haired friend balancing precariously on the window ledge. Ron clutches tightly at her arm in panic, his face paling. Harry grips one side of the frame, turning a tear-ravaged face to them.

"Please" Hermione steps carefully forward, letting Ron's hand fall away. "Harry, please get down." She begs softly, holding out her hands. He trembles, his eyes filling with more liquid.

"It hurts, Hermione." He tells her tremulously. She nods, not really understanding but at the same time knowing exactly what he means.

"It can be healed, Harry. Take my hand." She promises, almost able to touch him. He looks down at her, his green eyes begging for help.

"Why? Why him?" He shouts and then wobbles and Hermione lurches forward with a scream, latching onto his upper arm with both hands, her stomach sliding over the sill as he fell.

"Harry!" She sobs, her arms shaking with the strain. Harry looks up at her, another tear running from his eye. And then Ron is beside her, reaching over to grip his other arm. Below, a first year flying class is screaming and looking up in terror. She can vaguely hear Madame Hooch yelling for assistance.

"Harry, mate, please help us." Ron begs, his voice strained and his grip tightening relentlessly. Hermione slides her forearm under his arm for more leverage and closes her eyes, desperately calling on her magic.

"Wingardium Leviosa!" She yells and almost sobs as Harry instantly lifts higher. Ron begins to mutter the spell alongside her, pulling upwards with her.

"Please" Harry keeps whispering. He looks up at them again and blinks, his eyes suddenly becoming sharper. "Hermione? Ron?" They don't pause; his torso is almost over the ledge.

"Yes, Harry?" Hermione pants, tugging and wrapping her other arm around his. If he fell, so would they.

"I don't want to die." Then he's helping them, using his legs to climb the roughly cut stone and nearly propelling himself back into the tower. They collapse in a pile on the ground.

"You wanker!" Ron shouts, grabbing Harry by his shoulders to shake him roughly before wrapping his arms around him, shoulders shaking. Hermione wriggles around Harry's back, encasing the sobbing boys with her arms and adding her own tears to the mix.

"Don't do that again, please, don't do that again. Harry, why? Why?" She whispers as another sob wrenches from the small boy's chest. At that moment, the door bangs open and several staff members run in with wands raised.

"Harry!" All three students look up as Professor McGonagall drops down beside them, placing her hands on his shoulders to look into his eyes. "Why?" He shakes his head at their Head of House, who looks over at the others with a white face.

"I'm here, Minerva." The tense Transfiguration teacher's shoulders relax as the school nurse comes bustling through the crowd. Ron and Hermione haul Harry to his feet; he's swaying too much to not need assistance. Gripping his hands tightly, they walk with Madame Pomfrey to the Hospital Wing, ignoring the pressing questions of the other professors.

Hermione lets loose a puff of air, turning her cheek in a more comfortable position against Ron's shoulder. They're sitting at Harry's bedside, listening as the teachers discuss their friend's cutting and depression on the other side of the curtain behind them.

Harry is asleep, his face gaining back some colour and rest. He hadn't been eating or sleeping well this year; now they knew why. How could they _not_ have seen it?

"We're so stupid, Ron. How could we not see how he was dealing with Sirius' death?" Hermione whispers, her throat closing up.

"Not dealing is more like. I don't think we wanted to, Hermione." He runs a hand through her hair, a rare gesture of affection from her clueless friend. The shiver of pleasure down her spine was ignored when the curtain in front of them fluttered and a pale-haired head peeked through.

"Malfoy! What the hell are you doing here?" Ron whispers furiously, not wanting to wake Harry. Malfoy looks at them in surprise, his cheeks flushed and his eyes rimmed with red.

"C-can I speak with him?" His tone was pleading and she places a calming hand on Ron's chest as she sat up to scrutinize the usually sneering Slytherin. His robes were creased and there were definitely tear tracks on his cheeks. His lip was even bitten, as if in nerves or something. He looked…concerned.

"You can, but we're not leaving." Hermione says, albeit slightly apologetic. Malfoy bites his lip before sighing with defeat and walking slowly to Harry's side, opposite us.

"What are you doing, Hermione?" Ron whispers under his breath. She shrugs and watches as the scene unfolds.

Draco looks down at the figure on the bed. He looks much too small tucked into the white sheets. His arms were face up on the covers, the red scars bared for all to see. It made his stomach clench tightly in fear and guilt. Harry had _promised_ him he would stop last year.

He reaches out with his hands, firmly ignoring the presence of the weasel and the bookworm in favor of running his fingers reverently down Harry's smooth, tan cheek. Those dark lashes move slightly before opening slowly. Verdant eyes look up into his own grey-blue ones.

"'Co?" His voice was muffled and weak from sleep.

"What were you thinking?" He leans closer, letting his face hover over the smaller boy's. Harry's eyes open fully and narrow as he bites at his lower lip.

"Why? I was thinking why." He whispers back. Draco looks swiftly to his left arm, biting his own lip as he allows Harry to lift his ravaged arms to grasp his own and slowly pull back his sleeve to reveal the black abomination. Quidditch-calloused fingertips ghost just above the skull.

"They threatened my mother. She won't be able to escape until Christmas." Those green eyes look away from his mark to look at him expectantly. He continues. "Once she was in the clear, I was going to help Sev. I didn't do it to hurt you. I never wanted to hurt you." He promises, his eyes looking to the bruises on his upper arms where his friends had held on for dear life as he dangled from the tower.

"I wanted to die." His lover tells him bluntly. Draco recoils before plopping his bum onto the bed and gripping his shoulders as he resisted the urge to shake him.

"Damn you, why? Why did you do this to yourself? You promised." He whispers, pressing his forehead to a ravaged wrist.

"You promised to stay safe." He raises his eyes to look furiously into those stubborn green ones.

"I'm not some prissy chit that stays safely behind closed doors. I'm going to fight beside you, regardless if you want me there or not. When will that get through your thick skull?" He growls. Harry frowns before smiling with resignation.

"I'm stuck with you then?" Pale fingers grip that stubborn chin with a feral grin.

"Until you're tearing your hair out in frustration, Potter." Verdant eyes fell half-closed and a softer smile graces his face, reaching up with a slight whine. Draco leans down, scrunching up his eyes to stop those traitorous tears as their lips meet. He still doesn't know how his lover found out about his mark, but they would have that conversation later.

Harry brought his hands up to run down his spine.

_Much_ later.

"Oh my"

"I think I'm gonna be sick." They break apart to look over, both flushing at having forgotten about the other two Gryffindors in the curtained area.

"Have a problem with this, Weasley?" Draco sneers, hackles raised to defend his relationship. Harry's fingers tense around his hipbone and he nuzzles his cheek against his lover's without turning his eyes away from the slightly green redhead. The bookworm looks a bit flushed, but the smile on her face boded well.

"Shut your mouth, Malfoy. I'm fine with Harry being gay. I just…do I have to be nice to you?" The idiot's voice was horrified and Draco's face twisted in response.

"No"

"Yes" Draco glares down at the grinning idiot.

"No!"

"Yes, and we can try that one thing." Draco perks up immediately.

"With the strawberries?" Harry nods, grinning mischievously.

"Strawberries?" Ron whimpers.

"_And_ the blueberries."

"_Blueberries_?" Ron sways and rests his head against Hermione's shoulder, emitting a whimper every now and then as the two lovers stare at each other with blatant adoration.

"It's okay." Hermione pats him on the head while chuckling, her grin widening as she hears the teachers approaching. Harry and Draco (goodness that was weird!) lock lips once more just as the curtains pull away.

"My eyes!" She laughs freely as Snape stumbles back, hands over his eyes. Dumbledore and McGonagall have wicked grins on their faces while Madame Pomfrey is clucking disapprovingly as she approaches the furiously blushing boys.

"He's not to strain himself, Mister Malfoy."

"Yes Madame Pomfrey." Draco murmurs, slipping into the bedside chair while Ron, recovering from his heart attack, snickers. A glare is sent his way but they watch as the healer checks over Harry, frown evident as she runs her wand over his wrists. Harry casts his eyes downward, staring at his lap as he's forced to sit up so that she check his chest for any cuts.

"Mister Potter, Harry," Harry looks up after she waves her wand to whisk his trousers back on after checking his thighs, another place for cutting. "You're going to be seeing a Mind Healer twice a week. I understand that you don't want one." She cuts him off as he opens his mouth to protest. "But you've given us no choice and despite what you might think, there are many people here who care for you and only wish you to be healthy and happy."

"But—"

"Shut it, Leo." Draco drawls. Harry glares at him, but Draco takes his hand and locks eyes with him as he slowly kisses each raised line on the delicate skin of his wrist. "Do it for Sirius and your parents, if no one else." The fight leaves the small Gryffindor and he nods, thanking Madame Pomfrey as she hands him a pajama shirt.

"Visiting hours end in a few minutes."

"I'm staying here tonight." Draco says firmly, looking at Madame Pomfrey while tightening his hold on his lion's hand. Madame Pomfrey purses her lips as Ron and Hermione nod also.

"Very well, but let him rest."

"We will." Hermione promises. She and the other teachers leave, McGonagall leading a traumatized Snape from the room. When they are alone, Ron stands up and approaches the bed. Draco tenses, his eyes not leaving the redheads face.

"I want you to promise me that you'll talk to us from now on."

"Ron—"

"No, we're your _best friends_. You're our family, Harry. It's impossible for us to judge you or to…to do whatever kept you from telling us about this and what you were dealing with. We love you, mate." Harry reaches out and Ron takes hold, gripping his shoulder with the other hand.

"Love you too." Harry says roughly. Hermione gets to her own feet and wraps an arm around Ron's waist while covering their clasped hands with her own.

"You too, Draco. You're family now." Draco grudgingly places his free hand over theirs; a scowl on both his and Ron's face while she and Harry share a look of amusement.

"Now, I really am tired guys. And hungry." Harry pouts. Hermione laughs as Ron instantly offers to get food. Draco sniffs and summons a house-elf while they pull up their chairs and sit around it, eating the feast that is brought up and explaining a few things that needed explaining.

They fall asleep that way, surrounded by friendship and love.


End file.
